


Fear of Falling

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Genre: F/M, Gen, Mind Meld, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-07
Updated: 2013-02-07
Packaged: 2017-11-28 13:33:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/674954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All he ever wanted is being taken away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear of Falling

Even though they are in different parts of Coruscant, her still in her apartment after a long meeting with some of her friends in the Senate, he can feel her almost as if she is in the same room with him. As if she is sitting right beside him, even as he stares out the window into the great unknown.   
  
He's always loved Coruscant at sunset. The sheer dusky amber glow of it as it touched the buildings, washing them with dark gold light, it's always been a joy to watch. And yet there is something almost frightening about it. In this moment, Anakin sits near the window, looking out into the skies, taking in the beauty of them, half out of wonder, half out of sheer fear of the future.  
  
Master Yoda has reminded him of the fact the future is always in motion, but Anakin knows that it is easier said than done. If nothing else, the fact the future is always in motion is not a comfort, but a source of terror. He is falling through space at Force knows how many miles per hour, and he doesn't know where he's going to land, or crash.   
  
He has a feeling that it's going to be a crash. So many people he's cared for have died in the end, or similarly broken his heart. Ahsoka is but one example; at times, he cannot help but wish that he could turn back time, use that flow-walking technique only heard about if only to go back and undo every day he ever felt like this.  
  
They say it is impossible. But if nothing else, Anakin Skywalker knows that nothing is ever truly impossible. It only seems to be.  
  
And across Coruscant, he can feel Padme stirring and walking to the window. She's tired, and yet also curious, wondering where that new feeling is coming from. And Anakin reaches over, if only to gently touch her face, because at least, he wants to have this moment of nearness with her, even if it is no more than a moment.   
  
He can feel the flutter of life in her belly. The baby, kicking -- he can still remember joking with Padme about the baby ("with a kick that hard? Definitely a girl."). And yet it is no joke. If nothing else, no matter what the baby's gender, Anakin knows he will be proud. A beautiful, impossible, mad son or daughter, growing up to be perhaps one of the best the galaxy's ever known --  
  
And that's being taken from him too.  
  
Padme...the baby...they are everything he could have wanted in the galaxy, and he has to watch them both die. And the tears begin to stream down his face and he can't stop. And there's something in him all but demanding the Force, Master Yoda, all who never listened to him, who dismissed him and rejected him as an abomination when he was no more than a child, //How can I let her die?//  
  
The Force has no answer.   
  
And Anakin can still hear the voice of the dead star dragon in his dreams. //All things die, Anakin Skywalker. Even stars burn out.//  
  
Even the stars. He can still remember watching them with Padme on Naboo, a little corner of the galaxy they carved out for themselves. He remembers vowing, as a boy, to see every planet and star out there. The stars have always seemed so beautiful and terrible to him -- in a way, he almost fears falling, falling upwards, in a sense, falling into their endless depths.  
  
And he can remember Palpatine's words now. About Plagueis. And the midichlorians; could this technique be used to save Padme, and their child?  
  
Anakin stands now, face still stained with tears, and turns to leave. Perhaps saving Padme isn't the matter of simply letting go of "attachment" (as if loving another was such a terrible thing). Perhaps it lies in the same principle of those stars, and stargazing back on Naboo.   
  
Perhaps the key to saving Padme is, in a way, simply the courage to fall.


End file.
